What I am learning about change?
It began a few years ago.
It was the spring of 2016.
There were tears.
Alot of tears.
They came at the weirdest times.
I did not know what they were from or why they came.
I remember the tears came mostly in the salon, while getting my hair done. They would come from no where and my stomach usually felt queasy, you know when you feel like your getting the flu. These tears came every 5-6 weeks at the salon through the spring and into the summer. I knew it had nothing to do with a change in hairstyle.
Unexplainable in my eyes. The tears and the feeling would make me ponder what is going on that makes these tears come.
The stylist would ask each time these tears appeared, "Is everything ok? I am worried about you." To which I would reply, "One thing you need to know is this is not about you."
You may be making YOUR own assumptions right now as well.
Sometimes when the tears came, we would laugh and say, "It must be menopause!" We would ponder my age of 47 and think, "Is this the beginning of THE CHANGE?"
It was late summer when I began to discover what these tears were, and why they showed up in the stylist chair.
You see, the stylist was my daughter.
I had been her cheerleader since the day she was born. If your a Mom or a Dad you may understand that cheerleader outfit well. My cheerleader outfit consisted of watching her grow, and wanting to be at every sideline jumping up and down, saying, "That one is mine!" And yes you would often find me grabbing my sign to say, "This way to JESUS lovey!"
The tears I discovered were part of laying my pom poms down. Well at least laying the kind of pom poms I enjoyed carrying. Our daughter was getting married in September, and she would no longer need the kind of cheerleader I liked to be. Always present and accounted for. Have you ever wondered if the way you liked to do something was giving God glory or for your self?
The pondering of the tears for me was, "Why am I crying when I am so happy for her and her groom to be?
"For goodness sake she will still need a Mom." Yes this was a voice I heard rolling around in my head often. The voice I often hear sounds much like get over yourself. Have you heard those harsh words, maybe even somewhat condemning? They made me feel lonely and isolated.
The other voice I heard was this. "Who are you?" The tone of these words = TENDER. If you read Psalm 139 you will hear the love in the voice of my Father who spoke these words through David.
And the question I asked back is "Who are YOU in this change of a uniform?" He answered with, I AM and I will, and I AM always present and providing all my children need.
Trusting Him with you in every change as He gently shows me His selflessness, His love and sacrifice, and points me to His Father, who is my Father too.
It was the spring of 2016.
There were tears.
Alot of tears.
They came at the weirdest times.
I did not know what they were from or why they came.
I remember the tears came mostly in the salon, while getting my hair done. They would come from no where and my stomach usually felt queasy, you know when you feel like your getting the flu. These tears came every 5-6 weeks at the salon through the spring and into the summer. I knew it had nothing to do with a change in hairstyle.
Unexplainable in my eyes. The tears and the feeling would make me ponder what is going on that makes these tears come.
The stylist would ask each time these tears appeared, "Is everything ok? I am worried about you." To which I would reply, "One thing you need to know is this is not about you."
You may be making YOUR own assumptions right now as well.
Sometimes when the tears came, we would laugh and say, "It must be menopause!" We would ponder my age of 47 and think, "Is this the beginning of THE CHANGE?"
It was late summer when I began to discover what these tears were, and why they showed up in the stylist chair.
You see, the stylist was my daughter.
I had been her cheerleader since the day she was born. If your a Mom or a Dad you may understand that cheerleader outfit well. My cheerleader outfit consisted of watching her grow, and wanting to be at every sideline jumping up and down, saying, "That one is mine!" And yes you would often find me grabbing my sign to say, "This way to JESUS lovey!"
The tears I discovered were part of laying my pom poms down. Well at least laying the kind of pom poms I enjoyed carrying. Our daughter was getting married in September, and she would no longer need the kind of cheerleader I liked to be. Always present and accounted for. Have you ever wondered if the way you liked to do something was giving God glory or for your self?
The pondering of the tears for me was, "Why am I crying when I am so happy for her and her groom to be?
"For goodness sake she will still need a Mom." Yes this was a voice I heard rolling around in my head often. The voice I often hear sounds much like get over yourself. Have you heard those harsh words, maybe even somewhat condemning? They made me feel lonely and isolated.
The other voice I heard was this. "Who are you?" The tone of these words = TENDER. If you read Psalm 139 you will hear the love in the voice of my Father who spoke these words through David.
And the question I asked back is "Who are YOU in this change of a uniform?" He answered with, I AM and I will, and I AM always present and providing all my children need.
Trusting Him with you in every change as He gently shows me His selflessness, His love and sacrifice, and points me to His Father, who is my Father too.
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