What is Authenticity and the year of 2016
How can the best day ever be in the hardest year ever?
December 12, 2015 a journey began for this Mom. The day one of our children began to leave the nest! She came downstairs and sat on the arm of my chair I often sit in and drink coffee and pray and read my bible and sometimes I just sit there contemplating the day ahead. Enough of what I do in my chair!
Her words, "I am going to be a wife Mom!" Her excitement was in the forefront and in the background was the fear of the unknown and the prep and am I really ready! Are we ever really ready for anything? Sure those in Christ are ready because of the cross, and or but, the day to day things that come our way...hhmmm.... Does ready mean prayerful with expectation that the Lord will give all we need to be ready?
The year was full of preparation! As I recall some of the prep days, I think of struggles, joys, anticipation and honestly some of it was hard work to prepare for a day that would bring God glory and change a life for two children and their families forever. I would love to say the year of prep for the wedding was blissfully perfect and joyful at every moment! I also find myself wanting to tell you of all the tears and fights and the details and all the whys of those struggles as the preparations were made. Is that needed to be authentic? Are the struggles meant to be shared in a garbage truck dump or just trickle out like a leaky faucet to those along the way that may be in the same spot as you were or are? I don't know....
There was one comment made at one of the vendors to our daughter that will stick for many years..... "Do I have to have ______ ? " was the question asked. The answer was profound for me, "This is your wedding and tradition or pinterest should not make you feel you HAVE to do it a certain way." Why do we think life has to look a certain way? Isn't life about walking day by day learning and listening and walking a life of joy with those eyes looking to the gift of the cross to understand what we have and what we get each day? I think so...
The day of the wedding was the seriously the best day ever! The enjoyment and the beauty of it ALL! The reveling in what was proclaimed that day screamed of the Love of God how rich and full! I wanted to stay planted in that day FOREVER! To see the joy and smiles and anticipation of the bride and groom was enough to make my heart sing forever! Do I believe that day was a glimpse of what heaven will be when we see the face of our Savior? I believe so....
Now back to the title! How can the best day ever cause so much struggle in my heart as we finish 2016 out? Is this too a picture of the pilgrimage here? I feel like I got a glimpse of heaven and now I get to go back and live and love and let go of more birdies and continue to worship Him as life continues!
You see I keep asking a few older people....
...did I love them too much?
...did I have my identity wrapped up in my children aka...was I a helicopter or lawnmower parent?
...why does it hurt so bad to see the birds begin to get ready to leave the nest?
...did I make these years too comfortable and all about me?
...did I really raise them to leave the nest like I said I did? did I? did I?
All these did I's and why's in the middle questions in my heart! I know who holds the answer...
As I recall back to the day of December 12 and the wonder of the heart of our child saying....Am I ready to be a wife? I apply that to the heart my own heart of this Mom that says, Am I ready to let go of every bird that God has blessed me with? Am I ready to pour love into a husband that has loved me so patiently through the years of mothering? Will I complete the task with two birds preparing to fly?
Was I ever ready?
I answer with a question....Who made me ready? Why can I let go? How can I give love and receive love everyday? GRACE...a relationship with my Savior day by day!!
So....there will be more best days ever amidst the hardest years/times ever...and everybody's hardest times ever will look different because we are all so different and yet loved so perfectly by our Heavenly Father.
Merry Christmas and may the new year remind us where we are going as we see glimpse's of the final best day ever coming as He makes us ready to see His face clearly not dimly as we see now.
December 12, 2015 a journey began for this Mom. The day one of our children began to leave the nest! She came downstairs and sat on the arm of my chair I often sit in and drink coffee and pray and read my bible and sometimes I just sit there contemplating the day ahead. Enough of what I do in my chair!
Her words, "I am going to be a wife Mom!" Her excitement was in the forefront and in the background was the fear of the unknown and the prep and am I really ready! Are we ever really ready for anything? Sure those in Christ are ready because of the cross, and or but, the day to day things that come our way...hhmmm.... Does ready mean prayerful with expectation that the Lord will give all we need to be ready?
The year was full of preparation! As I recall some of the prep days, I think of struggles, joys, anticipation and honestly some of it was hard work to prepare for a day that would bring God glory and change a life for two children and their families forever. I would love to say the year of prep for the wedding was blissfully perfect and joyful at every moment! I also find myself wanting to tell you of all the tears and fights and the details and all the whys of those struggles as the preparations were made. Is that needed to be authentic? Are the struggles meant to be shared in a garbage truck dump or just trickle out like a leaky faucet to those along the way that may be in the same spot as you were or are? I don't know....
There was one comment made at one of the vendors to our daughter that will stick for many years..... "Do I have to have ______ ? " was the question asked. The answer was profound for me, "This is your wedding and tradition or pinterest should not make you feel you HAVE to do it a certain way." Why do we think life has to look a certain way? Isn't life about walking day by day learning and listening and walking a life of joy with those eyes looking to the gift of the cross to understand what we have and what we get each day? I think so...
The day of the wedding was the seriously the best day ever! The enjoyment and the beauty of it ALL! The reveling in what was proclaimed that day screamed of the Love of God how rich and full! I wanted to stay planted in that day FOREVER! To see the joy and smiles and anticipation of the bride and groom was enough to make my heart sing forever! Do I believe that day was a glimpse of what heaven will be when we see the face of our Savior? I believe so....
Now back to the title! How can the best day ever cause so much struggle in my heart as we finish 2016 out? Is this too a picture of the pilgrimage here? I feel like I got a glimpse of heaven and now I get to go back and live and love and let go of more birdies and continue to worship Him as life continues!
You see I keep asking a few older people....
...did I love them too much?
...did I have my identity wrapped up in my children aka...was I a helicopter or lawnmower parent?
...why does it hurt so bad to see the birds begin to get ready to leave the nest?
...did I make these years too comfortable and all about me?
...did I really raise them to leave the nest like I said I did? did I? did I?
All these did I's and why's in the middle questions in my heart! I know who holds the answer...
As I recall back to the day of December 12 and the wonder of the heart of our child saying....Am I ready to be a wife? I apply that to the heart my own heart of this Mom that says, Am I ready to let go of every bird that God has blessed me with? Am I ready to pour love into a husband that has loved me so patiently through the years of mothering? Will I complete the task with two birds preparing to fly?
Was I ever ready?
I answer with a question....Who made me ready? Why can I let go? How can I give love and receive love everyday? GRACE...a relationship with my Savior day by day!!
So....there will be more best days ever amidst the hardest years/times ever...and everybody's hardest times ever will look different because we are all so different and yet loved so perfectly by our Heavenly Father.
Merry Christmas and may the new year remind us where we are going as we see glimpse's of the final best day ever coming as He makes us ready to see His face clearly not dimly as we see now.
Comments
Post a Comment